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友の死に我が身を重ねて

9/19、もう「ひと雨」欲しい畑です。秋茄子がうまくなってきました。いつも食べることばかりで色気もありませんな。
さて昨日の夕方の報道によると長嶋巨人軍終身名誉監督の奥様、亜希子夫人が心不全で急逝されたということでした。二週間前には私の親しかった落語家さんがやはり心不全で亡くなりました。その前はお世話になっている床屋のお母さんでした。私の友も長嶋夫人も共に六十代の前半なのです。ちょっと早いなぁ…。私も最近心臓の当たりに違和感を感じていた矢先でしたから他人事とは思えません。心臓麻痺となるといつ来るのか予測が出来ません。年を取り体の調子が狂ってくるとやはり不安ですね。私もどこかで死ぬということの寂しさ怖さを感じているのでしょう。人の命のはかなさ、むなしさをひしひしと感じます。
日蓮大聖人はその教えの中で「臨終のことをいつも頭に浮かべて何時死んでも恥じない生き方をしなさい」と教えていますが、私も何時の間に自分の「生死」の事を考える年代になったんだと感じています。
私は日頃から余り恰好のよい生き方をしていませんからその時が来て私の死はどんな姿になるのか心配です。せめて死に顔の穏やかな臨終を迎えたいものです。今夜は酒でも飲んで早く寝ます。

■昭和42年長嶋監督夫妻の新婚時代の一コマ  (産経新聞より)
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